Guilty

Tonight, I was overwhelmed with the feeling of guilt. I looked over at Brad who was reading a book, and then looked at Nolan who was playing in his walker. I was on the laptop. The three of us were in the same room, but we were worlds apart. There are days, such as the one I had to day, that are beyond stressful. All I wanted to do was come home, sit down, and wish my headache away. Brad works longer days than anyone I know. He leaves the house at 6:30 and usually doesn't get home until 6:30 that night. All he wants to do is come home, shower, and sit down. When it was just the two of us, sitting on the couch and relaxing after a long day was wonderful. It was what we wanted to do, and so we did it. Now that Nolan is here, it is hard to justify that action.

Tonight, as I was on my laptop, I was reading one of my usual blogs. She had a link to her friend's blog, so I thought I would check it out. Her friend lost her husband a little over a year ago. Her blog post today was about how she and her son Nolan were going to spend more time learning how to be a family of two instead of three. Talk about a slap in the face. I had to do everything I could to not cry in that moment. Here I was wasting my time reading about how someone else was being proactive in making time for family. I was flooded with such extreme guilt. How could I choose spending time on the computer over spending time with my family? So, right then I closed the computer and told Brad to put down the book. We spent some time with this cute guy...................................

Why is he in the tub in the living room??? Well, recently he has been trying to pull himself up. He will only do it in the bathtub which is becoming a little hazardous. We thought we would try it under dry conditions, but this is all we got................................

Ohh well, at least we had fun giving it a try!